When is the “Right Time” to Place a Loved One in a Facility?

The “right time” to place a loved one in an assisted living or memory care facility varies for each family. It is a difficult and emotional decision. There is no right or wrong answer.   Family and trusted friends can help you make that decision.  Having a support team to seek input from is beneficial.

As a caregiving spouse, think about what would make it too difficult to keep a loved one at home?   For one Apple Valley client I recall vividly that she felt she would need to place her husband when she was not getting enough sleep.  For another client in Woodbury, it was when her husband’s mobility caused falls as she couldn’t lift him. And for a South Saint Paul client, it was when he no longer climbs the stairs.

When the primary caregivers are adult children, the process and timing of placement may be different. It could be driven by all the roles daughters/sons still have. Whether that’s work, children or grandchildren. For many it is the distance the loved one lives is and the difficulty of managing it all.

There are some clear signs to indicate it is time to seriously consider placement. They include:

Declining Physical Health

• Frequent Falls or difficult with mobility
• Difficulty with daily tasks (bathing, dressing, using the restroom, eating)
• Decreasing vision and/or hearing
• Loss of weight due to poor nutrition
• Dehydration from not drinking enough fluids is common as we age and can cause a urinary tract infection (UTI).

Safety Concerns

• Are they wandering or getting lost frequently?
• Have they left the stove on or engaged in other dangerous behaviors?
• Do they forget to take medications properly?
• Are they forgetting to eat and or drink?

Social and Emotional Well-Being

• Are they becoming isolated due to their condition?
• Are they more anxious or depressed at home?
• Would they benefit from activities and social interactions?

Level of Care Needed

• Are their medical needs becoming too complex to manage at home?
• Is in-home care (either by family or professionals) no longer sufficient?

Caregiver Well-Being & Family Dynamics

• Are you experiencing burnout, stress, or health issues from caregiving?
• Are you or other caregivers feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, stressed or resentful?
• Is caregiving negatively affecting family relationships?
• Is the level of care needed beyond what you can provide at home?

Behavioral Changes

• Are they experiencing increased aggression, paranoia, or hallucinations?
• Are they showing signs of severe confusion or anxiety that disrupts daily life?
• Do they refuse necessary care, making home caregiving unsafe or impossible?

Financial Considerations

• Is the home not conducive to modifications like an accessible bathroom or does it seem impractical or too costly?
• Can you afford in-home care and still have enough assets should you need placement? (many facilities require a year or two of private pay funds before accepting Medicaid-Elderly Waiver)
• Have you explored Medicaid, or veteran benefits for care support?

Medical Advice

• Has a doctor or specialist recommended placement?
• Are they experiencing frequent hospitalizations or rapid cognitive decline?
• Do they require specialized treatment or therapies available in a facility?

If multiple factors are becoming unmanageable, transitioning to an assisted living facility or memory care facility may provide a safer and better quality of life for both your loved one and yourself.

Choice Connections is here to provide support and education on senior care options. We take some of the burden of placement off your plate.   And we are honored to walk alongside families as they are traveling this difficult journey.