Alzheimer’s: Caring for Our Loved Ones

The Diagnosis

Hearing the words “you have Alzheimer’s” is devastating. Not only for the individual but for their loved ones as well. Like grief, families go through stages such as denial, anger, fear and profound sadness. Allowing some time for processing this life-altering diagnosis is important. Since it will affect the individual and loved ones in different ways, the grief process won’t be the same either.

Many times, the most pressing question for everyone is “what now.”  Since the effects of Alzheimer’s varies from person to person, there is no one answer to that question. The signs, symptoms and stages of the disease are determining factors on what comes next. Each stage will bring its own set of challenges.

Care Partner to Caregiver

In the early stages of Alzheimer’s, a person may function normally, for the most part. At this point you and your partner can work together with regards to:

• Finances – a good time to review your financial situation.
• Consulting with your lawyer on important matters such as:
• Power of Attorney
• Healthcare Directive
• End of Life wishes/Funeral Pre-planning.
• Paying for your loved one’s care – what you need to know.
• Joining a support group – learning from others who are in a similar circumstance.
• Researching the disease – ALZ.org is a great place to start. The more you understand about dementia, the better prepared you will be for the changes that will affect both of you.

Maximizing Independence to Offering Assistance

The ALZ Association recommends maximizing your loved one’s independence by finding the right balance. Some things for which you may offer assistance:

• The calendar / appointments
• Planning or organizing events and social obligations.
• Money management – checkbook, bills etc
• Grocery shopping and meal prep
• Keeping track of medications
• Driving/transportation

While safety is the top priority, also watch for signs of stress or frustration and learn how and when to intervene. For example – decision making can often lead to agitation for those with dementia. A helpful step is to narrow down the options. Instead of asking “what would you like for dinner,” try asking “would you like fish or chicken.”  This small change can be impactful.

From my personal experience, my family members “waded’ into their role as care partner. By that I mean it came on gradually and didn’t disrupt their lives too much. However, as the disease moved into later stages their loved one’s dependence on them grew, switching their role from care partner to caregiver. The shift can be dramatic and draining. The well person is not only responsible for the care of their loved one but everything else on top of that – house cleaning, grocery shopping, bill-paying, yard work, social plans, appointments, medications – all that goes with running a household. This makes taking care of yourself a challenge.

Some helpful suggestions:

• Take breaks, even if it is only for a few moments.
• Make sure not to isolate yourself.
• Make healthy eating a priority.
• Accept offers of help/support from friends and family.
• Look into Adult Daycare programs in your area.
• If financially possible, hire companion care or homehealth care for a few hours a week.

When it is time for a move, the Twin Cities area has many wonderful options for Memory Care. These communities offer professional and compassionate care to your spouse or family members through programs, activities, meals and emotional support. For families, it allows them to be just that – family. Once again, they can engage and enjoy time with their loved one without the worry and stress of providing the care services needed.

When that diagnosis comes, a good first step is to visit ALZ.org. There is a wealth of information that will provide insight into your loved one’s disease, the role of care partner/caregiver, along with much needed resources. https://www.alz.org

World Alzheimer’s Month

**September is World Alzheimer’s Month – a time when people around the globe focus on ways to raise awareness about Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia. Over six hundred communities in the U.S. hold a “Walk to End Alzheimer’s” event.

In 2025, Minnesota’s walk takes place on September 27th at Target Field. For more information or to donate – go to Walk to End Alzheimer’s Twin Cities or go to The Choice Connections Team page to donate.